The slot for a summertime chart topping jam is reserved for only the best and the brightest songwriters of this age. These number one hits spill out onto the streets and bump the stock speakers of your mom’s minivan en route to the neighborhood pool.

But wait! We should all be ashamed of ourselves to simply sit back and allow our heads to bob in complacency. We must not overlook the lyrical stance, the worldly message buried deep into each cryptic verse. No need to fret my friends. I am here, and I have procured the crème de la crème of two sensational compositions. The following is a mashing of lyrics taken from Jerimih’s (sp?) Birthday Sex and Just Dance by Lady Gaga. Enjoy.

I’ve had a little bit too much, much

It’s your birthday so I know you want to ri-I-ide out

Where are my keys? I lost my phone, phone

The spot the spot gonna hit that g-spot g-spot

Just dance, gonna be ok, da da doo-doo-mmm

Or maybe we can float on top of my water bed

I love this record baby but I can’t see straight anymore

I been feenin’

Half psycotic, sick, hypnotic, doo-doo-mmm.

Ok, I think we’re done here.

This article was written in July & is part of the Archives , Thoughts & Opinion , Wes sections.